4 Things Writers Don't Have to Do

November 17, 2017

     If you're anything like me, you're a writer. Beyond that, you probably have a day job so you don't starve or wither away without a roof over your head, and maybe you're a full time college student, too. To put things plainly: you're a busy person. There's no time to do the things that normal people do on a daily or weekly basis, such as walk the hyperactive dog as often as you should. And personal health? Forget about it. Writers don't have to worry about those things, right?

     Let's take a look more specifically at the key things you don't have to do, as a writer with such big ideas floating around in that skull of yours.

  1. You don't have to keep things organized or clean. In the morning, you can leave your bed unmade, and as long as you're still capable of clearing a space on your desk to perch your laptop on, everything is perfectly fine. There's dust in the corners, but what harm is that doing? Maybe you can find inspiration in the dirt. And between school and work, you don't have time to read, so your bookshelf is littered with non-literary things, such as tape dispensers and 3DS games you haven't touched in months.

  2. Cardio is even less necessary. Maybe at the beginning of the semester you started going to the gym, and it even lasted for a month, but eventually you realized it wasn't worth it. You can elevate your heart rate and stay in shape simply by putting your fictional characters in danger on the page. Worrying about them is plenty of exercise.

  3. Nutrition isn't that important either. Writers are superhumans. You don't need vegetables or adequate amounts of protein like those normal humans over there, out drinking on a Saturday night, going to the movies, and spending time with their families and friends. Your writing can sustain your health well enough. Even if you could afford real food, which you can barely afford the ramen and Pop-Tarts you've been living on, you'd rather spend your precious free time writing than cooking a decent meal.

  4. There's no need for the dishes to be done. Your sink doesn't see much action. Not only do you not cook a whole lot (see #3), you'd rather spend the time it takes washing dishes to at least brush your teeth or stare into space as you daydream about the next story you're going to write. So the pot you used two days ago to boil ramen in will stay there for a while longer. Wiping down the surface of the neglected sink more than once in a blue moon is out of the question, too.

     So next time you're worried that your “real life” is turning to shambles, don't fret, fellow writers. Just plop yourself down on that unmade bed or sit at that cluttered desk and keep daydreaming. You'll be a famous writer who doesn't need that day job in no time.

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