All at once

“what does it feel like when he reads you?”

            like every bee found pollination

                        in my stomach and made honey

                                      with every breath i took

“what does it feel like when he bears your hand?”

                like every war has subsided

                         like the last bomb went off and everyone

                                               had gone home to their loved ones

“what does it feel like when he slips ‘love’ from his teeth?”

​

                like every heartbeat i’ve ever felt,

                          happening all at once

Ante meridiem

two in the morning

the sky and my room

share the same dark

you send me pictures

of the mountains in canada

how fresh snow blanketed

the slopes you stood on

i admire fresh snow,

a clean slate that covers

up past footsteps

and avalanches that fell

by volumes of a voice

though silence came out of my smile

we spoke in the middle

of ante meridiem

while the world was sound asleep

and there i left you hanging

off the cliff of my lips

when i had fallen in my REM cycle

and when the fire rose over the horizon

you were gone before the light came in

two in the morning

the sky and my room

share the same dark

you send me pictures

of the mountains in canada

how fresh snow blanketed

the slopes you stood on

i admire fresh snow,

a clean slate that covers

up past footsteps

and avalanches that fell

by volumes of a voice

though silence came out of my smile

we spoke in the middle

of ante meridiem

while the world was sound asleep

and there i left you hanging

off the cliff of my lips

when i had fallen in my REM cycle

and when the fire rose over the horizon

you were gone before the light came in

homeless

I knew I would see you again

there you are all handsome

hair sticking up, never brushed

and there i stand all in awe

cotton mouth and blank thoughts

words unable to string together

to hang up a sentence of confession

how after these empty years

you’re still invited to all my parties

the ones with christmas lights

in obscure months and confetti

strewn all over hardwood floors

and we would tiptoe to your room

lock the door with chains and hands

and finally touch after holding back

swaddle you in arms that never

grew tired of holding your absence

Steel skin

my mother was probably unaware

that she birthed a boy with glass skin

a boy so transparent yet not invisible enough

to feel protected, to feel hidden

grew up to be the boy dressed

as a punching bag

an easy target for archers

and their sharp bow and arrows

still learning to stain his glass enough

to not be invisible

but rather invincible

Strut

bravo to the clinically depressed,

you act a smile better than

most oscar award winners

so walk that runway

wear your comforter as an

oscar de la renta dress

drape the sadness along

the red carpet

keep that smile cracked

you’re known for never

breaking out of character

20/20

when my father tells me

i’m his entire world

i’m blindsided for a moment

i forget he has trouble with his eyes,

fades in and out of vision sometimes

unable to see his creation

but at least when he embraces me

he can still feel himself

holding the world in his arms

Zane frederick

Zane Frederick is a city-born Gemini, raised in the hell and heart of Phoenix, Arizona. His work revolves around the vast concepts of love, self worth, and sexuality, which come alive in his debut poetry book titled '(he)art." When not writing, he plays guitar, piano, and performs slams poetry at local coffee shops.